Too Sad To Cry

By: Philemon Adjekuko - Published 2009-11-25

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy to those who think.” Shakespeare

We often comfort those who cry. But crying is a therapy that helps to reduce the pains lodged at the bottom of our soul. Dr. Provine, a neuroscientist at the University of Maryland says that emotional tears resolve ambiguity and add meaning to the neuromuscular instrument of facial expression?

What then happens when there a load of pains trapped at the bosom of your heart and something denies you the healing that comes with crying? Pains make their way up and get stuck in your chest producing an excruciating pain that inflates your throat until it feels like you are going to explode. The feeling is comparable to a greedy desert snake that swallows a mountain goat with its samurai-like horns and attempts regurgitation. Relief is like a mirage, only perceived but never real. Every attempt to get relief simply makes things worse.

This has been my experience in the last eleven months. However, this experience was taken to the height of anguish by the mid march adverts sponsored by the NNPC in the just concluded under 17 FIFA World Cup.

The organisation claimed that it touches our lives in so many ways. But it did not reveal that in all the ways it touches us we hurt badly. Why is NNPC not telling the world that we are hurting right now courtesy of a contrived fuel scarcity that began on the eve of November 1, 2009? Why is NNPC not telling the world that it is the grandmother of corruption and inefficiency? Why is the NNPC not telling the world that it is the flagitious bird that sucks life out of its own eggs? Why is NNPC, as the Everly Brothers sang, preventing the world from seeing the way our broken heart is hurting? Why is NNPC making us to cry in the rain so that we can hide all our pain, sorrow and shame?

In the weekend of November 20, I found myself playing too songs repeatedly. The first song was by the late Michael Jackson titled “Speechless”. Isn’t there just so much that makes you speechless in Nigeria? Almost every day, there is something in the papers that hit you real hard and makes you speechless. Here is one story that made me speechless. It was carried by Thisday of November 10, 2009 and titled: “Ajumogobia: Nigeria Considers Refining Crude in Senegal”.The story’s intro broke my heart.

“Minister of State for Petroleum Resources, Odein Ajumogobia, has disclosed that Nigeria is considering the possibility of processing some of its crude offshore to make petroleum products directly available to the country. He explained that the economy has grown bigger than the country's refining capacity hence the need to look into other available options. The minister argued that even if all refineries are working at optimal capacity, Nigeria would probably be importing more than 40 per cent of its requirement given the economic expansion. Ajumogobia spoke yesterday when he received a six-man delegation from Senegal led by their Minister of Energy and Bio-fuels, Mr. Samuel Amete Saar, in his office at the NNPC Towers in Abuja.”

Gosh! Senegal is to come to our rescue. Only a few days before that story, the Minister was on Channels Television speaking eloquently about the multi-advantage of a deregulated downstream sector.

Have you noticed how beautifully they speak when they describe things that will hurt us and our children? Deregulate and millions of dollars will flow into the country in new investments! Deregulate and trillions of Naira will be saved and invested in critical sectors of the economy! Deregulate and enjoy regular supply of petroleum products! Deregulate and you will get a pass to El Dorado. Meanwhile, mum is the word on all the damning audit reports on the oil sector? Mum is the word on all institutions and individuals that have been indicted by the reports.

Nevertheless, when it comes to things that will truly bring joy and comfort to us, these high priests from Golgotha become stammerers with a rare form of mental arthritis. They will tell us that the problems have been there for years and that they cannot be made to go away in one day. They will tell us to wait until the full moon stands over our heads and the sweet angels from the bosom of GOD come to mother earth to bless all men of goodwill.

Don’t you feel too sad to cry when you when you hear members of the president’s cabinet in Abuja argue and contradict themselves on whether the country can or cannot produce 6000 mega watts of electricity at the end of December 2009. What on earth is 6000 miserable megawatts? Hardly enough to power Lagos! Yet we are violated by their irritating and utterly meaningless debate as to whether or not it can be done. It is as if the country is planning to beat the world by landing a man in mars.

In any case, the other song that I played repeatedly at the weekend of November 20, was by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn with the title: God bless America again. Simply replace America with Nigeria and sing yourself to sleep.

God bless America (Nigeria) again

You see all the trouble that she's in

Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then

God bless America again

(Recitation)

Dear God, I sure do wish you could bless America (Nigeria) again

Well, you know, just like they did way back when it all began

you know, you surely blessed it once and we just took it for granted

and never bothered to ask again

So just hold her hand God, that's all

And if she should stumble,

Please don't let her fall

God bless America (Nigeria) again

You see all the trouble that she's in

Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then

God bless America again

(Recitation)

You know God, There’s so much I don't understand

About what I read and hear is wrong in America (Nigeria)

But I suppose if you don't have a lot of learning

There's so much you can't understand

Ahh but let me say this

God she's like a mother to me

And everything I am or ever hope to be

I owe it to You and to her

(Abbreviated chorus)

Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then

God bless America (Nigeria) again.

Meanwhile, my doctors have advised me to stay away from reading or listening to anything about Nigeria for the rest of the year in order to avoid doing something unthinkable as a result repressed sorrow and anger. I intend to comply with their advice and use the period to deregulate my soul.That way, I will lose all my feelings and not see Nigeria as a tragedy but a comedy. A comedy that will make me laugh until I forget how to cry.

Article Source: http://nigerianarticles.com

To read more about the Author click:Philemon Adjekuko

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